The Right Time to Toilet Train.

For many parents, toilet training is a huge milestone in their child’s development. When we discuss with parents about their child’s current level of ability in the area of self-help skills, often parents will ask, “When can we start toilet training?”

Generally, children are ready to be toilet trained around the age of two. However, not all children are ready at the same time and some children may not be ready or interested until after the age of three. In her book, Toilet Training for Individual with Autism & Related Disorders, Maria Wheeler (1998) noted that it is important to consider the child’s mental age (child’s performance level). 

For example, a child who is 4 years old (chronological age) with a mental age that is lower than two years may not be ready for toilet training. So, how do we determine if our children are ready to be toilet trained? Below are some signs of readiness to look out for:

• Does your child show signs of discomfort when his/her diaper or clothing are wet or soiled?
• Does your child indicate the need to wee or poo by using facial expressions, standing in one spot for a long time and/or making noises?
• Does your child show interest in bathroom related behaviors such as handwashing, flushing or other related tasks?
• Does your child have the motor skills to perform the routines that are required during toilet training (i.e. pull up pants, pull down pants, sit on potty, turn on tap, etc…)
• Can your child imitate adult’s actions and learn routines in a sequence of steps?

If you answer “yes” to most of the questions above, your child is likely ready to be toilet trained! But hold on, your child may be ready to be toilet trained, how about you? Toilet training a child requires a lot of time and patience. It may take days or months. 

Below are some questions that you may need to ask yourself before starting a toilet training program with your child:

• Is this my own decision to start such an intensive program with my child or am I influenced or pressured by someone else (siblings, friends, relatives)?
• Are there major changes occurring at this time? (moving to a new house, going on a vacation, a new baby on the way, etc…)
• Are all the individuals (family members, caretakers, and teachers) involved in your child’s life committed to the program?
• Does your child have any tolerance issues that may increase his/her level of anxiety, which may then hinder the progress of the program?
• Are you planning to start your child on a new diet or medication that may possibly affect the progress of the program?

Once you have decided that you and your child are ready to go on this exciting journey, remember that setbacks and accidents are part of the process. Do not punish your child for unsuccessful attempts or accidents. Instead, be generous with your encouragements and praises when you noticed that your child is making an effort. 

There is nothing wrong with taking a break from the program if you noticed that you or your child is starting to get frustrated. This is not just an important milestone for you and your child; it can also be a fun and exciting learning experience for everyone!

Reference: Wheeler, M. (1998). Toilet Training for Individuals with Autism & Related Disorders. Arlington, TX: Future Horizons, Inc.

Written by 

Gan Huey Sien

Senior Consultant, EAP Malaysia