Peer Play: Stages of Play

There are gold ships,

There are silver ships,

But there are no ships,

Like friendships.

Finding friends, making friends and keeping friends are skills that I didn’t learn at school like how I learned math and writing. Yet, they are probably some of the most important life skills. Most children learn how to make friends on their own. However, for our children who are on the autism spectrum, making friends can be a daunting task. Therefore, many of the skills that are required in making friends, such as turn taking, sharing and negotiating, must be explicitly taught to our children who lack social skills. In a nutshell, this is how we teach our children social interaction in our program.

1.    First, teach to enjoy adult’s company.

2.    Use 1:1 learning sessions to teach:

-        Social skills(turn-taking, sharing, waiting, etc…)

-        Cooperation (respond consistently to adult’s instructions)

-        Self-regulation (Coping with not getting his/her way)

-        Play skills (interactive games, toys and imaginative play)

3.    The child’s social interest should increase, then teach child to play with other    

       children… now let’s start PEER PLAY!

Remember that even though our children can play with adults, they may not know how to play with other children because playing with children is more difficult than playing with adults (we help, we persevere and we reinforce!) Therefore, regular peer plays allow our children to practice the skills that they have learned in the 1:1 sessions.

Before starting peer play, it is important to keep in mind that there are different stages of play. One of the most common mistakes is to force our children to interact and talk to each other on the first play date. This pressure often hinders socialization. Below are the three stages of play and the initial goals to target during peer play.

Parallel Play - Involves limited social participation in which a child plays near other children with similar materials, but does not try to influence their behavior (start with parallel play even though child can do cooperative play with adults).

Associative Play - Involves social interaction in which the children engage in separate activities, but they interact by exchanging toys and commenting on one another’s behavior.

Cooperative Play -  Involves social interaction that is more advanced type in which children orient toward a common goal.

Initial goal for peer play is for both children to HAVE FUN! We want children to stay together (peer play usually occurs in 1 enclosed room)‏. We also want to find opportunities to generalize mastered play and social skills from 1:1 sessions (and later language skills as well). We want both children to feel comfortable and not pressured: Language is NOT an initial goal… it is common for children to talk less around new peers. Once the initial goals are met, we can gradually increase the frequency of peer play and establish new goals.

Good friends are hard to find. When we organize peer play for our children, we help them find, make and keep friends!

Written by, 

Gan Huey SIen

Senior Consultant, EAP Malaysia