My husband, Mike, has just been formally diagnosed with Asperger syndrome at
the age of 41. I have always known he had Asperger's since I met him 12 years
ago at the school where I was teaching English. He was doing maternity cover in
the maths department and spent lunchtimes pouring fastidiously over his lunchbox
in the staffroom, looking rather lonely and lost. The English department took
him under our wing. He amazed us. A clearly intelligent and gentle man, he was
the second highest rated chess player in the county.
I was intrigued. It was obvious he was a bit 'odd' though, and I asked a
friend who taught psychology at the school what he thought. 'Read this,' he
said, handing me a photocopy on Asperger's.
Since then I have been instrumental in spotting quite a few undiagnosed
children with the syndrome and have referred them on, so my friend did more than
one person a service that day. Mike and I went out together a few times: cinema,
quizzes (we were brilliant!), and I accompanied him to chess tournaments (the
biggest Asperger conferences in the world) I even managed to hold him to a draw
in our first chess game because he underestimated me (though he claims he let me
have stalemate, of course).
He has been my partner since then, my husband the last two years. Life is
never boring with Mike. That isn't to say it is easy either. Before his recent
diagnosis I wrote an article, 'Either my husband has Asperger's or I am married
to the most selfish man on earth', but it was all tongue in cheek. He is still
odd - but he makes me laugh and we love each other. Yes, his Asperger's has
caused some problems in his work life. We are going through a bit of a tough
patch at the moment, but we shall survive. We are together and are each other's
best friend.
My son (from my first marriage) is engaged to a lovely woman who works with
disabled adults. She recognised Mike's condition from the start, so my family is
supportive. My friends are my friends because they accept him. When he is odd or
rude, they look at me and we smile knowingly. Meeting, marrying and being with
Mike has enriched my life. For better or for Asperger's, eh?
by Vicki
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: only a member of this blog may post a comment.